* Hear the words 'It's now inevitable she's going to die'
* Have what everyone describes as the best moment of their life - holding their child for the first time - bound up with the fact you know you're only holding her because there's nothing left the doctors can do.
* Have to leave their child with someone else for the last time know you'll never see them again.
* Make decisions about burial or cremation or what type of casket.
* Have to educate other people about grief because they just don't get it.
* Feel the explicit or implicit why are they still so upset after all this time.
* Know that for the rest of their lives 'How many children do you have?' is always going to be a hard question.
* Try and force a new pregnancy on a body still trying to recover from the previous one and cope with grief because it's the only possible way to feel any hope for the future but now knowing that's there's no guarantee of falling pregnant or making it through the pregnancy with a living baby at the end.