If you know me in real life and have found this blog, please honour my wishes and don't read on. I need this place to freely write my feelings to help me to heal and if you're reading, I'll censor myself. I have no way of knowing who is reading so all I can do is trust you to honour my wishes. Thank you.

(this doesn't apply to any of my fellow mums of angels I've been lucky enough to meet in real life)

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Time and Pictures

Two years ago I was in my first ever 2WW and it ended with the positive pregnancy test that started me on this journey. It seems like so long ago I was that innocent and hopeful person.

I don't really have anything new to say, for the most part the joy that Max brings me consumes my day and my life is wonderful. But sometimes (like now listening to a song from my SIL's wedding when I was pregnant with Matilda) the pain hits all over again and I'm in tears. A lot of the time I struggle to believe this actually happened to us - that I really do have my daughter's ashes sitting on my bedside table. I was reading Glen Hall's (an Australian footballer) article the other day about holding, kissing, bathing, and dressing his stillborn son with tears streaming down my face and thinking 'how heartbreaking' and then it hit me, we have the same story and it's just as heartbreaking.

I've been seeing some beautiful and brave pictures from my friends lately and realised I've never shared any. Here's my beautiful little girl.