- Finding out I was pregnant
- Our very first scan at 11 weeks
- The first time DH felt her move
- Seeing her for the first time
- Finding out they were feeding her
But whenever my mind wanders, I don't end up in those memories. I end up in the memories that no one should have to live through:
- 'You might lose your little girl'
- 'It's now inevitible she's going to die'
- Watching DH break down when we picked up her ashes
- Ringing my neighbour and having to say 'Matilda didn't make it'.
Why is this? Why can't my mind naturally turn to all the good things about Matilda's life?