If you know me in real life and have found this blog, please honour my wishes and don't read on. I need this place to freely write my feelings to help me to heal and if you're reading, I'll censor myself. I have no way of knowing who is reading so all I can do is trust you to honour my wishes. Thank you.

(this doesn't apply to any of my fellow mums of angels I've been lucky enough to meet in real life)

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Messages from Matilda

One day last week I was putting the last of Matilda's photos into her album. DH came home from work and we both cried and then I put the album away. Shortly after he came back inside with tears in his eyes and showed me my star sign from that day's paper. It was:

The last sentence in particular comforted me. DH has been very emotional about it and has showed a lot of people.

Last Thursday we had a scan (to check the growth now I've been diagnosed with gest diabetes). We got a few really good pictures and then the last one was this one:

As soon as DH looked at it, he said 'It looks like there's two babies in there'. I didn't really see it to start with and then he said look on the right and it looks like there's another baby in there giving Mungbean a kiss. And it does. We think it's his big sister.

Like so many things, all these moments are bittersweet. The scan picture in particular - I so wish Matilda was here to grow up with and give her little brother lots of kisses.

Thanks for letting us know you're out there Matilda. We love you and think about you all the time.


  1. I thought exactly the same as your DH! She's looking after him, Maddie, cheering him along.

  2. Michael and I both see the second baby in the scan... it's an absolutely beautiful picture. These are really special memories for you to hold onto.

  3. what an absolutely amazing horoscope. it's like it was written just for you.

    i see the second 'baby' too. a pic to treasure.

  4. Wow, Maddie. I had my husband read this, and we both felt the power of it--the horoscope and the photo. Your sweet boy is so adorable and looks very cozy in there :-)

  5. I first saw the two faces in the image as well. :-) I'm glad some comfort was found.

  6. Before I read what you said I was thinking the same thing that it looked like 2 babies. Maddie giving her brother kisses is soo sweet!! <3