I'm 33+5 today. Tomorrow I'll be 33+6 - the gestation that Matilda's movements dramatically slowed. On Monday I'll be 34 weeks when is when she stopped moving at all and was delivered that night. And I've just realised that Monday is 10 months since Matilda was born - I knew it was next week but not Monday. Mungie normally kicks a lot so I'm just hoping that he keeps that up or there's going to be panic by me.
I'm feeling more emotional and crying more about Matilda lately - I don't know if it's approaching her birthday or just getting towards the end of this pregnancy. I still have moments where I can't believe it happened - that we survived the complicated pregnancy, she was here, and then she died.
Matilda - we miss you and nothing is ever going to change that. xx
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I can see there being a lot of emotions flying around...thinking of you and know you haven't done anything to jinx this. Remembering Matilda too.
ReplyDeleteOh my friend, I know exactly. I had had it one day and finally ripped off all the tags and washed all the new stuff and thought to hell with it. If having hope means jinxing life then I'm doomed!
ReplyDeleteIncidentally, it does not. You can not jinx this. That's not the way it works.
Praying for Mungie and remembering Matilda xx
It sucks not being able to be a "normal" pregnant person, huh. You know, only when I read this did I realize Addison would have been 10 months old today. I just can't believe it...for either of us. Oh how I hope you have an easy few weeks in your future. I think of you often.
ReplyDeleteAs you know, I was in the same position last week with the dates lining up. There really are no words to describe how it feels. And I've also been a lot more emotional since getting past the 25+ weeks stage - more nervous now than before as it's so hard to believe this baby is actually still alive. All I can say is that I hope the next 6 or so weeks passes fairly quickly for you - because there are no words that will make you feel "better" about this pregnancy. It's a really long, hard road to go down. Take care. xx
ReplyDeletei know how u feel, i lost my son last yr now i am pregnant again i have this feeling of impending doom, like if i do anything to display hope for this pregnancy then ill jix it. sometimes it feels inevitable like i expect everything to come falling down around me again and i just want to get it over and done with. im sure everyone on the outside thinks im heavily pessimistic but is just so hard not to be after a loss like that
ReplyDeleteThanks for all your support. I have washed baby clothes sitting in the machine waiting to be hung out.
ReplyDeleteI think of you all often as well. Rebecca - I wish our 10 month girls were here.
Maddie x
hang in there and throw away that damned calender! xoxo
ReplyDeletePregnancy after loss is so very hard. Good thing you have all of us for support! :) Hang in there and just know we're all thinking of you often! xo
ReplyDeleteHang in there, one day at a time. If it helps at all you have a bunch of random strangers on the internet rooting for you. ((Hugs))
ReplyDeleteyou're doing so well. we're all thinking of you. sending hugs xxx
ReplyDeleteMaddie you are a brave lady and you have a beautiful little girl looking over you. I'm so proud that you are able to wash those clothes - i have yet to work up the courage to do the same! i have everything crossed for you my dear.
ReplyDeletexx
dear maddie, today was the anniversary of the day i lost my little girl. it was shitty. but we hang in there don't we!
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