If you know me in real life and have found this blog, please honour my wishes and don't read on. I need this place to freely write my feelings to help me to heal and if you're reading, I'll censor myself. I have no way of knowing who is reading so all I can do is trust you to honour my wishes. Thank you.

(this doesn't apply to any of my fellow mums of angels I've been lucky enough to meet in real life)

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Thanks and Meditation

Thanks for your lovely comments and support (B your's did come through ;-)) - it means a lot to me.

At meditation last night we got half way through it and suddenly I felt like it was hard to get deep breaths into my lungs. It was quite intense and uncomfortable. But then as the lady who takes our group started saying 'just be receptive' I suddenly had a thought 'Matilda is here'. And all the weight was gone from my chest and I could breathe deeply again. Apparently we hold our grief in our lungs.

Matilda - I hope you are here.

And Mungbean - I hope you are too.

I love you both and I can't really explain how much the reality that I can't have both of you here hurts. So just know that I love you both.


  1. I'm sure Matilda knows how much you love her, it always shows. I hope you continue to feel her with you.

  2. I think she was there with you then. :) Matilda knows you love her so much! XO