If you know me in real life and have found this blog, please honour my wishes and don't read on. I need this place to freely write my feelings to help me to heal and if you're reading, I'll censor myself. I have no way of knowing who is reading so all I can do is trust you to honour my wishes. Thank you.

(this doesn't apply to any of my fellow mums of angels I've been lucky enough to meet in real life)

Saturday, March 6, 2010

And So It Begins

The dates of my last pregnancy have started rolling through. Yesterday March 6 was the first day of my last period and the date I quoted to doctor after doctor.

I feel sad, introverted, and withdrawn most of the time still. But yesterday I went out for coffee with my SIL and two of her friends and I talked and laughed. There was only one moment where we were discussing a friend who's engaged to someone that already has kids. And whether those kids would be at the wedding. I almost said 'If I had kids then I'd want them at my wedding'. In the next moment I caught myself and didn't say it.