Generally though I'm surprised that I'm not still crying more. In the beginning I wore sunglasses whenever I had to leave the house because I couldn't stop tears running down my cheeks constantly. It's not like that now, if something hurts when I'm out I can put the pain and tears away until I'm back home or in the car and cry then. I really didn't think I would get to this point so quickly and sometimes I feel bad that I have. That my life can continue when my baby died. That I can go grocery shopping when my baby died. That I can joke and laugh with my DH when my baby died. Maybe it's guilt that makes me feel bad about it - guilt that I'm here and she never even got a chance to live.
On the other side, my ob is surprised I still cry so much in her office. My pregnancy was one thing after another so I was always crying in her office during it. One appointment she even hugged me which made me think that things really weren't going the way they should be - I've never been hugged by a doctor before. So now when I go in there I cry before she even says anything and cry my way through the appointment. She's worried that her office still has such an effect on me and has given me a referral for a psychiatrist.
So am I coping too well? Not coping well enough?