If you know me in real life and have found this blog, please honour my wishes and don't read on. I need this place to freely write my feelings to help me to heal and if you're reading, I'll censor myself. I have no way of knowing who is reading so all I can do is trust you to honour my wishes. Thank you.

(this doesn't apply to any of my fellow mums of angels I've been lucky enough to meet in real life)

Monday, February 15, 2010

I Wish That People Wouldn't....

..... joke that looking after the boys next door will put me off having kids. For one, it implies that I'm not actually a Mum already. And two, don't they realise that if anything was going to put me off kids it'd probably be what I've already been through and that's only made me more desperate to have a baby. Dealing with kids playing up doesn't really compare to watching your baby in the NICU and not being able to help them.


  1. Completely agree with you. (((HUGS)))

  2. so true so true Maddie. People just dont think before they speak. When I was trying for my second child and found out we had to go through IVF I got all sorts of whacko comments including "you can have one of mine" or "I dont know why you want another one when you've got your hands full with your first one". I know thats not the same as what you are going through so I dont wish to make comparisons, they are entirely different situations. Since Connor died, I have learned that some people will say the dumbest things, and as a sort of protection mechanism I now dont share anything with those i know are likely to hurt me. We havent told any family of our plans to have or not have any more children. The comments are simply not warranted and may end in someone getting hurt, namely myself.
    I am so sorry you have to deal with this, people seem to speak with both feet in their mouths. All children are a blessing.
    Sending much love and light your way xxx

  3. I think it's insensitive enough that people say that to me (specifically in my case 'why would anyone have kids?'). To think that anyone could be insensitive enough to say it to you after everything you've been through takes my breath away. I guess they just don't hear how ridiculous and cruel it is, but that's no excuse.

    Thinking of you.