If you know me in real life and have found this blog, please honour my wishes and don't read on. I need this place to freely write my feelings to help me to heal and if you're reading, I'll censor myself. I have no way of knowing who is reading so all I can do is trust you to honour my wishes. Thank you.

(this doesn't apply to any of my fellow mums of angels I've been lucky enough to meet in real life)

Sunday, January 24, 2010

A Change of Scene

A couple of times my counsellor has bought up the fact she thinks the ocean and nature are healing. As part of this we agreed I was going to try and get out and walk the dog each day. Since then it's been really hot so I haven't been. But we are spending the weekend on one of the bay islands and I have a view of water. I think it is healing. Maybe we'll try and get out of town more often while I try to do the impossible - heal from the loss of my child.

Matilda - last time we were here you were alive and I spent the weekend hoping you were going to be OK. Thinking to myself 'you have OK - I can't deal with the alternative'. And now 6 months later I'm here trying to deal with the alternative. I hope you're here with me. I love you as much as ever.

1 comment:

  1. i hope you are still feeling a little soothed from being near water.

    i should get out to the coast more. i don't live far away, but i rarely go, even though i love it.