Sunglasses

Tomorrow we're going to one of the islands for the weekend. I was getting my things together today and thought 'can't forget my sunglasses so I can cry on the ferry without everyone noticing'. The last time we went there I cried on the ferry wearing sunglasses - it was after our 20 week scan when we found out things weren't perfect but still had no idea how serious they were. At that stage, I was just crying about my baby needing minor surgery after being born and having to go through an amino. Oh how I wish that had been all I needed to cry about. Instead it was the start of one lot of bad news after the other ending with the worse news of all - 'It's now inevitable your little girl is going to die'.

And somehow amongst all that, came the best days of our lives - meeting our little girl, thinking she really was going to be OK after a few weeks in hospital, holding her for the first time.

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In other news, my manager emailed wanted to know what my plans were for going back to work. I said I don't know, all I do know is that I'm not ready to go back yet, and I hope in another 3 months I'm in a better place to consider the future. And I want to come back part time. I though this was pretty clear but I get a reply asking if I'm up to coming in to discuss what I want to do. I thought the email was pretty clear 'I don't know and can't say right now'. So I guess I'll have to go in and repeat this in person. I feel like just burying my head in the sand and pretending the reply never came.