It's the first time I've really been out of the house over than for short periods for specific purposes (going to the doctor etc) so I'm being confronted with a lot of pregnant women and strollers for the first time. When I was pregnant, DH and I would often comment on how pregnant women looked or look at see what type of stroller they had or talk about what their babies looked like. Now we both just go silent and don't say anything. What is there to say - 'That makes me sad', 'That should be us', 'Will that ever be us?'. It's like there's an elephant in the room.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
The Elephant in the Room
DH and I are in Melbourne for a week (looking forward to meeting some fellow mums of angels in the weekend) doing the tourist thing. We've been walking around, taking trams, drinking coffees, and eating lots of food. For the most part, it's enjoyable which feels odd. But I have this feeling that it far too early to be finding things enjoyable and that makes me feel guilty. But whenever there's a quiet moment - sitting waiting for DH to come back from the bathroom or looking out the window on a tram - I start thinking about Matilda and tear up.