A Father's Love

Our neighbours arrived home after a month away on Thursday. We're close and when they arrived back we went over for a drink and too catch up. They've got two kids - M who's a 7 year old and S their beautiful three year old daughter. They were up playing while we were over there - they've lived next door since before S was born so we've known her for her whole life.

As we were leaving and saying good-bye, DH said 'Good bye Mat, oops S'. It was obvious to everyone he'd been about to say goodbye Matilda. As soon as we got out the door, he said to me upset 'I don't know why I said that - sorry for upsetting you' (I was crying by this stage). I said he didn't need to be sorry and it was probably just because he'd been thinking about Matilda. He said he had been watching S play with her toys and thinking that's what Matilda would have been doing when he got older. I'm sitting her with tears running down my face just thinking about it.

The next day he apologised to S's Mum and she said, that her and her DH had cried for Matilda as well after we'd left. Of course when DH told me this, it made both of us cry again.

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On a different note, I went to a pilates class today. My other neighbour goes and had explained my situation to them so I didn't have too (I don't think I would have been brave enough to do that). I enjoyed the class and I think it reminded me that I did enjoy other things in life before we embarked on this path to parenthood. I'm going to keep going.