If you know me in real life and have found this blog, please honour my wishes and don't read on. I need this place to freely write my feelings to help me to heal and if you're reading, I'll censor myself. I have no way of knowing who is reading so all I can do is trust you to honour my wishes. Thank you.
(this doesn't apply to any of my fellow mums of angels I've been lucky enough to meet in real life)
Monday, January 11, 2010
Difficult to Read Things Like This
Yesterday a bill came for Matilda's stay in the NICU. I need to ring them because I was sure that Helen said they did 'no gap' billing in there. I don't really care but it's pretty hard to read.
*****Might be distressing - lists NICU procedures*********** Here's what's on it :
30/10 - Airway access, establishment and initiation of mechanical ventilation - Central vein catherisation - Management of patient in ICU
1/11 - Management of patient in ICU - Central venous pressure, pulmonary arterial, systemic or cardiac intracavity pressure
- Ventilatory support in a ICU - Chest X-ray - Chest X-ray
I'll be grateful forever that Matilda was delivered alive and we got to meet her but how incrediably selfish of me when I see what she had to go through.
I knew they'd done more than one chest x-ray (I was there for a couple of them) but not that many. They didn't know and could never figure out what was causing her low blood pressure (it was low from directly after delivery and kept dropping even with medication) but every time they x-rayed her heart it just looked strong and perfect.
The best scan we ever had in the pregnancy was one at 29 weeks with a cardiologist. He said her heart looked good and strong. BWS is sometimes (rarely) associated with severe heart defects so we were so relieved to hear that and were so happy that day.
It's a good thing I believe that tears are going to be healing in the long run because there's certainly been a lot of them over the weekend and since I got back.