If you know me in real life and have found this blog, please honour my wishes and don't read on. I need this place to freely write my feelings to help me to heal and if you're reading, I'll censor myself. I have no way of knowing who is reading so all I can do is trust you to honour my wishes. Thank you.

(this doesn't apply to any of my fellow mums of angels I've been lucky enough to meet in real life)

Sunday, January 24, 2010

This Time Last Year

I was hungover recovering from my hen's party which my wonderful sister in law and another bridesmaid organised. We had a great day drinking, eating, laughing, and later in the night going out dancing. The neighbours took us out for Yum Cha. Their two kids were with us and I remember Mick taking one of the boys over to look at the fish tank so their Mum could have a break and eat something. I remember watching him and thinking how good he was with kids. It really was a feeling of having the world at my feet - we had less than a month until two weeks in NZ which would include another hens/bucks, our wedding, and honeymoon. We were going to stop using contraception the night of the wedding and were looking forward to falling pregnant.

And now it seems like a lifetime ago that I could be that happy and also, that I could take that happiness for granted. That falling pregnant and having a healthy baby to bring home just seemed like a matter a time.


  1. What a difference a year makes, huh. It's tough now, but happiness will not elude forever.

  2. it's such a shitty lesson to learn, that it's not always that simple. that not everyone gets a happy ending.

    right now, i wondering, if i had to learn this lesson - why NOW? why can't this be my lesson in two or three or four years, after I have a child already? why does this have to spoil any future pregnancies i have?

    i hope rebecca is right, for all of us, more than i can say.